


Keep

by TheBlindBandit



Series: Fall [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Homeworld Hierarchy (Steven Universe), Homeworld is Horrible, Pearlrose Week, Pearlrose Week 2017, Pre-Canon, Rose is smitten, Secret Relationship, Sparring, Swordfighting, White Diamond - mentioned, Yellow Diamond - mentioned, Yellow Pearl - mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 08:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12700845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlindBandit/pseuds/TheBlindBandit
Summary: Yellow Diamond is getting a new pearl. Rose sneaks around. Pearl hones her skills.





	Keep

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Give](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9669575) by [DrJekyl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrJekyl/pseuds/DrJekyl). 



> A continuation of [Steal](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9421973) by me and [Give](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9669575) by [DrJekyl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DrJekyl/pseuds/DrJekyl).

Yellow Diamond is getting a new pearl.

“I heard from the carnelians the old one got glitchy,” the barracks’ most promising jasper lieutenant and biggest gossip shares proudly. “Scratched her gem somehow, so She got rid of her.”

A murmur about the well-known softness of pearls goes around the gathered Gems, and Rose can’t help a cringe.

“Must be nice,” her cubby neighbour elbows Rose, snapping her back to alertness, “being able to do that. Break your toy when you’re bored of it and get a new one just like that.”

Another murmur, this one much quieter and far more careful, about the well-known harshness of Yellow Diamond’s temper.

“Just like that,” Rose agrees, and lags behind deliberately, pretending to busy herself with sorting out a half-empty weapons rack as the chatter dies down and the others leave.

As soon as she is convinced she is alone, she slips away using by now well-worn routes. The forgotten storage room at the end of a shadowy service corridor has become something of a sanctuary for both her and her unusual companion. And Rose, who has never been one for subtlety or subterfuge, has all of a sudden become an expert - it’s more than her own existence at stake, after all. Secrets are suddenly of paramount importance and worth keeping in a way they never have been before.

She makes sure her patrols are covered, takes great care to ensure nobody misses her at her guard post, and that, in all that, she herself never misses a chance to spend time with Pearl. Oh, there is still a joke now and then in the barracks, about the way her head got turned by a fancy little pearl, but for the most part the gossip has moved on - though today’s Rose really could have done without.

Pearl, for her part, never misses a single one of their meetings - her training sessions - either. Witnessing her open up and grow and come into her own in the pretend-safety of their dusty little empire has been one of the most rewarding things so far in Rose’s brief life and service. Similarly, few things have torn at her the way it does to watch Pearl carefully fold into herself and fold herself away somewhere deep within, every time they have to leave to resume their regular duties and roles. There is such a sad, sad _lessening_ about it, about the way her shoulders slip into… not exactly a hunch, for her posture is always perfect, of course, but the way sheer palpable _obedience_ seems to drape over them is always jarring to behold. Moreso after long, forbidden hours of surprisingly exhilarating swordfighting drills, something Rose herself can’t remember ever taking delight in before now.

Skulking around rarely used service access corridors is the perfect time to muddle through utterly untenable thoughts like _What if it didn’t have to be that way?_ and _What if we could just go use one of the training arenas when they’re empty?_ and, loudest and unlikeliest of all, _What if we didn’t have to sneak around and fear and hide at all?_

Her destination sneaks up on Rose just as she is concocting a plan of getting them both in and out of an arena unnoticed, careful consideration of the possible obstacles quickly giving way to imagining the delighted look on Pearl’s face. She couldn’t exactly _give_ her the arena like she did the sword, of course, but she could do the next best thing. It would be dangerous, yes, but everything they do is, and Rose could always take full responsibility if it came to that- and Pearl would be so _happy_ , she would do that thing she does with her hands, and give an impromptu lecture on the different terrain simulation options, and her eyes would all but glow-

Pearl isn’t there.

Rose sets the training sword she brought for herself against the wall and waits for a while, somewhat disappointed but not too surprised. Pearl is rarely late if she can help it, always eager to take a stab at a new technique or work on an old one, but Diamonds are Diamonds and their affairs, of course, take priority - and, on occasion, run late. There is nothing either of them can do about that but indulge in wild fantasies of their time being their own, with no need to steal. So Rose does, with some fervour.

But moments creep by and the time draws perilously close to when she has to report back in for duty, and there is still no sign of Pearl at all. Rose’s thoughts skew darker, then - what if she’s been discovered? Caught while trying to sneak away? Maybe she couldn’t resist and took her sword - _her_ sword - out of her gem to indulge for a moment, and whoever happened to see her do it refused to believe she was simply carrying it for her owner? In the mounting tension, anything seemed not only possible, but increasingly likely. And the chilling echo permeating it all: _Yellow Diamond is getting a new pearl._

It is then, with her feet scuffing the stone tile in ghosts of the footwork drills they had planned for today, that Rose is struck with the full reality of their situation - and the sheer unfairness of it. She has no real way of contacting Pearl, or knowing if she is safe, or alive at all. If something were to happen to Pearl, Rose would certainly not be the first to know - who knows if she would _ever_ know the whole truth. So much hinges on their meetings staying secret, and the secrecy robs them of so much.

She hates the sudden, unpleasant realisation that one day she could easily find herself looking at another, completely unknown white pearl across the hall from her post, with full knowledge of what that meant, no knowledge of the details save for what gossip she managed to scrounge up afterwards, and the awareness that she was under no circumstances supposed to or permitted to react as the barracks chatter moved on, washing over her without a care for what she might have lost.

She waits, fear mounting, until the very last moment, earns a tardiness mark from her Agate and a ribbing from her fellow guards on duty, goes through her (completely useless) rounds in a haze, and runs back to her and Pearl’s meeting place.

Pearl isn’t there.

She isn’t there the day after that, or the day after that, either. The absence, Rose keeps telling herself, doesn’t have to mean anything particularly sinister - a meeting could have simply run very, very long. Or perhaps White Diamond went to visit one of her colonies on very short notice and Pearl had no time to let Rose know. Not an entirely happy thought, as there is never any way of knowing how long a Diamond visit would last, but certainly better than many of the alternatives Rose keeps unwittingly coming up with. Maybe she could get access to a comms terminal-

Or maybe she could simply go check.

It isn’t all that hard, in the end, to visit the other barracks and trade some trinkets for useful information. Yellow Diamond’s newest citrines are both very forthcoming and eager to add to their incipient collections, and Rose comes away from the exchange with a detailed schedule of all elite, council, and Diamond meetings for the next five rotations. Yellow Diamond’s court is always so highly organised, the contrast to what she herself is used to is quite jarring for Rose. It’s easy to find and single out the ones which White Diamond - clearly not absent or on an intergalactic tour of any kind - is supposed to attend. Easier still to pick out the closest one, only a few hours from now. And of course, if White Diamond is going to be there, then so is Pearl.

Unless-

Rose shakes her head and shakes away the creeping, unwanted thoughts. Going to the council chambers in time for the meeting would mean skipping out on some of her duties, but she can’t find it in herself to care. She would _know_ , and she would, stars willing, _see Pearl_ , and no threats of punishment from an uptight agate could ever rival that.

She strolls over to the correct sector, confidently and purposefully, like it’s exactly where she is supposed to be. Nobody questions her presence. Even so, she has her excuses prepared - she is on duty, yes, of course this is the patrol route she’s been assigned, her Agate certainly wouldn’t make a mistake like that.

And - there, finally. The sight of Pearl, whole and apparently well enough, standing in her usual spot by the door seems to lift an astounding weight off Rose’s shoulders. It also fills her with a near-intolerable desire to run over and grasp her hands, cup her face, just to make sure. But she restrains herself and keeps to her spot.

She has, through lots of arduous and painstaking practice, become skilled enough in interpreting Pearl’s tiny, carefully subdued cues. Proficient enough to be able to read the discomfort radiating off her in the presence of the new yellow pearl standing perfectly still next to her. Rose feels a burst of thankfulness that Pearl does not belong to Yellow Diamond and is safe, at least, from that temper. A sting of guilt for harbouring this thought follows immediately. Yellow Diamond’s pearl can’t have deserved her fate. Nobody could.

The shock on Pearl’s face as she catches sight of Rose lurking around the corner of the corridor is far from hard to read, however quickly she tries to school her features back into blankness. She tries to wave Rose away with the tiniest of gestures, shaking her head near-imperceptibly when Rose gestures back and stays put exactly where she is. Pearl’s posture is still perfect, but she’s shifting her weight from foot to foot and shooting nervous glances to Rose, to the other pearl, to the door of the council chamber, back to Rose-

Then she stops fidgeting, and seems to have made up her mind about something. A moment later she is calmly walking over, and Rose ducks a bit further back into the corridor.

The calm façade drops as soon as she makes the corner.

“What are you _doing_ here?” Pearl hisses, quietly but angrily, and Rose is taken aback.

“You didn’t come to train, and I thought- I don’t know what I thought. I heard about Yellow Diamond’s pearl.” Pearl visibly cringes and draws into herself at that, and Rose gives in, at least slightly, to her earlier impulses, gently and carefully taking one of her clenched hands in both of hers. “I just… I wanted to see you. I had to know you were… fine.”

Pearl heaves a sigh and some of the tension and anger seems to drain out of her, even as she keeps shooting nervous glances around. She opens her hand and returns the hold, and Rose is overcome with the conflicting feelings of her visit being worthwhile, and like she is the dullest, most unthinking and rash Gem in the universe.

“I’m sorry. Is… is this alright? Just for a little while? I don’t want to get you in trouble. And the pearl over there-”

Pearl’s smile is small, twisted, and bitter. “She’s new, and terrified, and has enough to deal with already. I suppose you could say you got lucky.”

“Will you come train again?” Rose blurts out. “I mean, when it’s safe for you again, of course. I don’t want you to…”

“It’s never safe.”

Rose bows her head - it is so… very matter-of-fact, the way Pearl said it. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Well, it’s not your fault, either.”

Pearl frowns and doesn’t reply, but tightens her hold on Rose’s hand and throws another anxious glance over her shoulder.

“I should go,” Rose whispers, and Pearl gives a tiny nod. “But I’ll see you soon. And you can show me those parry sequences you talked about.”

That earns her a full, genuine smile, one that is enough to subsist on until they meet again. The _if_ turned into a mere _when_ helps, as well, and Rose feels lighter on her feet than she’s ever been as she makes her way back to the barracks.

The punishment she receives rolls off her shoulders and barely seems to touch her at all. She plays suitably contrite and attends to her duties like the very model of a perfect quartz, until it is once again time to slink away.

Her giddiness is only marred by the sight of Pearl - an odd, contradictory situation, when the promise of seeing her again has been like a buoy to Rose. But Pearl looks so… small, and sad, and tired, sitting against the wall, hugging her sword to herself.

“Pearl?” Rose calls, and she looks up, but doesn’t reply save for a half-hearted nod of acknowledgement. “What happened?”

Pearl curls into herself some more, a tremble running through her entire form, and finally grinds out. “Please. Can we please just… do the work. The training.”

“Okay,” Rose replies quietly, then adds, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s fine,” Pearl insists, even though it’s quite clearly anything but. “I would just like to be away from it, at least here. At least for a little while. I have better things to do right now than worry about _Her_.”

“That’s right!” Rose takes up with all the enthusiasm she can muster, raking her mind for ways to lift Pearl’s spirits. “We can go over the distance drills again, and work on balance and reaction time later.”

Pearl is remarkably quick on her feet and her balance is flawless, of course, her weaknesses - and what she would realistically need to work on - in entirely different areas. But that is not Rose’s primary concern just now, not when Pearl is so- not when her shoulders are drooping like that, when the weight seems to have settled on her entire slight being, including the ruffles of her outfit and the ends of her hair.

Pearl sighs. “You really don’t need to do that.”

“Don’t need to do what?” Rose asks, all innocence, earning herself another sigh.

“Your intentions are good, but… You’re trying to give me easy victories, a few cheap successes, a sense of accomplishment that would be completely false-”

She is right, of course.

“No, no, that’s not it at all, I- I just wanted to…” Rose stammers, grasping around for an excuse, and finding none readily available, until her gaze catches on the sword in her own hand. “ _I_ want to work on balance. My balance. I’ve been lagging behind during training and my Agate was furious. I’m sorry to be so… selfish.”

Pearl raises an utterly unbelieving eyebrow, but she doesn’t argue. “Alright. We can do balance,” she acquiesces with the smallest of smiles, and Rose beams back.

They take their places facing each other, a few paces apart, just enough for their swords to lightly touch, when Pearl speaks up again, hesitantly, but with that clear _want_ straining in her voice.

“But perhaps… perhaps after that, we could try to have…an actual bout of sparring?”

“I-” Rose wisely cuts herself off before the _I don’t want to hurt you_ can make it out of her mouth. She wanted to make Pearl happy, didn’t she? She still wants it like she wants few things, but-

They would be careful. She would be careful. Nothing bad would happen. Just a friendly spar. No better way to truly put to use and put to the test what you’ve been learning, after all - barring an actual battle, which Pearl is highly unlikely to ever face. But again, and Rose focuses on this most of all, it would make Pearl _happy_.

“Would you like to spar now?” Rose asks, then laughs at the clear delight dawning on Pearl’s face. “I’ll take that as a yes. Alright, let’s start from a bit further away, then.”

“Don’t hold back - I won’t!” Pearl announces as she springs backwards lightly and falls back into stance, the beginnings of an excited and slightly wicked grin on her face, and Rose feels a warmth flood her form.

“Ready when you are,” Rose calls back. As soon as the words are out of her mouth, Pearl is upon her with the first attack.

She beats the sword away easily enough, then again, and again, and again as Pearl continues to shower her with quick, light strikes, just enough to test her guard and try to find an opening. Her technique is perfect and her form and footwork flawless, and she strings together without hesitation the various movements Rose has seen her do in drills. Almost like a dance.

Rose knows she is far stronger, and has the clear advantage of size and reach. But she allows herself a few purely defensive moments of observation and, frankly, admiration. Then, finally, Pearl dances away far enough for Rose to rush in and take over the attack in turn - all but inviting her to do it, in fact.

Pearl is as quick here as she was on the offensive, and, as she dodges swing after swing, Rose begins to doubt she will manage to land even a glancing blow. But then something of a pattern begins to emerge in Pearl’s defense, and a window of opportunity presents itself that Rose decides to take. She darts around to Pearl’s right, makes a quick feint to the left, and knocks Pearl’s slightly delayed parry attempt away with ease. Then she stops, triumphant, sword pointing at Pearl’s chest.

She is the most lively Rose has ever seen her as she drops her sword and raises her arms in casual surrender, hair messy and pretty outfit in disarray, splashes of bright blue on her cheeks marring the usually smothering pristine white of her appearance. Rose feels herself mirror Pearl’s exhilarated grin and she lowers her sword and offers her a hand instead. Pearl laughs, and wraps both her arms around Rose’s own, and Rose gives in, reaches over with her free hand, and playfully ruffles Pearl’s hair some more. It is, she is convinced, the softest thing she has ever felt.

“Well!” Pearl exclaims after another bout of giggles.

“Well?”

“That was delightful. Thank you! But now…”

“A rematch?” Rose nudges her with her shoulder, and Pearl clings on.

“Huh? Oh, yes, of course, eventually, but not right now. I need a bit of time to analyse this outcome first,” she draws away slightly, and Rose fights to keep down her disappointment. “How _did_ you do it? Was I being too obvious with my intentions? There was a strike there at the end that you pre-empted really well, I thought.”

Rose forces herself to focus and recall the details of the bout, and thinks back to the opening she found. “I think you keep too much to your left - like you’re constantly anticipating something from there. It’s nothing too bad, but it might end up giving you a blind spot if you don’t take care.”

“I do?” Pearl pauses and Rose can almost see, in the focused little furrow of her brow and the narrowing of her eyes and the thin fingers thoughtfully tapping against thin lips, the way she’s carefully retracing and analysing each of her recent steps and movements in her mind. “I _do_. I hadn’t noticed I was doing that. Well, that’s- I’ll work on it. Thank you. For- for noticing. For telling me.”

Rose smiles her most cheerful, benign smile. “That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” _Isn’t it?_ She still wonders about that sometimes - what, exactly, it was that brought her here, and what it is that is keeping her here still. But she saves that for another time, and chooses to focus on more important and more immediate matters. “Come on, I’ll stand over here and move at you from a few different angles, how does that sound?”

She’s helped with suggestions and brief demonstrations before - practical suggestions born from experience, where Pearl has only theory and her strange technical, mechanical approach to things that Rose has always just _known_. She can harness that now, certainly, and Pearl will be delighted to have improved, to have _learned_ , in that particular way that Rose can’t quite understand but loves seeing.

Pearl moves away and picks her sword back up, awash with fresh determination. “Let’s do it.”

Rose attacks her as agreed, slowly at first, then gradually picking up the pace. But the same pattern emerges soon enough, and Pearl finds herself staring at a sword tip again. Then again, and again.

“You’re still doing it!” Rose exclaims, matching Pearl’s visible frustration. “I _know_ you can do better. Come on, Pearl, there’s nothing there. What’s going on?”

“I-” Pearl freezes in sudden realisation, and lets her sword droop, carefully-kept pristine tip scraping carelessly against the stone floor. “She always has me stand to the right of her seat.”

_And you anticipate and hop to indulge her every whim before she’s even had the chance to voice it._

“Pearl,” Rose reaches out to her, trying to think of a way to offer comfort, and feeling quite out of her depth.

But Pearl growls in the most frustrated and un-pearl-like fashion imaginable, and cuts at the air in wild, merciless arcs. “Really? _Really?_ Well _of course_ this would get ruined for me, too, just like everything always is! Why would _I_ get to have anything at all-”

“Pearl!” Rose tries to interrupt the spiral she’s seen before - even though the hints of raw _fury_ feel very new. Would not be unwelcome, perhaps, in some other scenario. “Pearl, it’s fine, we’ll just- we’ll do some training with that in mind and it’ll be gone in no time at all. You’ll see. I’ll help you.”

“I don’t want you to!” Pearl snaps, face blue and vividly, vibrantly angry. Then she draws back into herself, the anger drained away somewhere, packed away in some hidden, overused and discontent corner of herself that _has_ to be overflowing by now. “Or- well, I do. I just… I don’t want you to _need_ to.”

Rose sighs, and puts what she hopes is a comforting hand on Pearl’s shoulder. Pearl immediately covers the hand with her own, and Rose thinks she may just have been right. “It’s fine, I promise, and you don’t have to feel ashamed about it. Everyone needs help sometimes, everyone has trouble with some technique or other - and sparring is always done in pairs.”

Basic quartz philosophy. _Pack mentality_ , she’s heard it called not at all kindly, by Gems who liked having fine, broad quartzes to hide behind, but who didn’t like to be reminded of their existence too much outside of that, _primitive but useful_.

“I’m not a quartz. I mean, _obviously_ -”

“Obviously,” Rose confirms with mock seriousness, and Pearl lets out a little huff of almost-laughter.

But then Pearl brings both her hands up to her chin again, and her fingers begin to tap out a familiar rhythm that lets Rose know she is _considering matters_. “I do suppose certain… methods could be adapted…”

“Yes! You’ll see,” Rose picks up eagerly. “We can start tomorrow, and we’ll make it work, together. And you will be absolutely unstoppable.”

Pearl ducks her head and blushes that charming blue. “You really think so?” She asks in a small voice that can’t help but sound both worried and hopeful. “You’re not making fun?”

“I,” Rose proclaims, putting an arm around Pearl’s slight shoulders and pushing all thoughts of Diamonds and their whims aside, “have never been more serious about anything in my life.”

 

 

Much later, when she finds herself on the ground, disarmed and staring up at a glowingly triumphant Pearl for the third time that day, Rose Quartz thinks she has never been more right about anything in her life.


End file.
